ODIE’S EYES
11 years ago today, Odie and I began our journey together. He came to my home broken, shut down and fear aggressive. Odie would go from 0 to 100 with no warning. His body would slightly stiffen just before he’d freak out. I was able to communicate with him using a leash. He would immediately stop once I touched his leash.
After our first year together, Odie had his eyes removed and we continued to learn to trust each other. When people would visit, they couldn’t even look at him without him having a tantrum. That’s how sensitive he was!
Odie was always an amazing traveler and very well behaved outside of the house, but at home he was a beast. If I got out of bed or off the couch he wouldn’t let me back without a tantrum. To be honest, I tried (unsuccessfully) to return him. Odie is my first dog (ever) and I had no idea how to manage his unpredictable behavior. We had couple of trainers that helped a little bit but day to day it was a hard time. When I found that the @anticruelty accepted surrenders 24/7/365, we began the conversation of “not today”. Knowing I had an out actually helped me commit and stay in present time with him.
After our move to Nevada almost 5 years later Odie relaxed beyond my wildest expectations. Each year he made amazing breakthroughs. 3 years later, he finally laid on his side, a year after that he taught himself to go up and down the stairs, and the piece de resistance he let me hold him on his back! People who met Odie later in his life can’t imagine he was ever such a beast and people who knew Odie from the beginning can’t believe how far he’s come. Odie became a certified therapy dog.
When I adopted him, they said he was 10 years old, when he had his eyes removed the vet said he was much closer to 5. In the end 8-10 is probably closer to his age.
Odie’s story is a testament to what can blossom with patience and time. It was clear that Odie knew love before he met me but clearly something horrible happened and he became so isolated and afraid. I am honored to have been a part of his healing and treasured every moment we spent together, even when we argued over his desire for cat food.
One of the most amazing serendipitous parts of my story with Odie is that I met him before I met him.
In November of 2010 I was picking up a guinea pig from @cacc_adoptable_dogs to transfer to a Guinea pig rescue and decided to check out the adoptable dog room. It was a cacophonous space. The dogs barking reverberated through me. The small dogs were along a wall of cages. One had a sign I found intriguing, it said “blind”. I started to approach the cage thinking “hey, I have a blind cat, how different could a blind dog be?” (I soon learned how wholly and completely) and caught myself again thinking “that dog is a hot mess!”
It must have been within a week that the pet shop in Evanston IL, where I lived, pulled him. He stayed at that pet shop for six months before I realized he wasn’t the shop dog and he shouldn’t live there. And it wasn’t until after I adopted him, and he was in my house that I realized that he was the same dog I saw six months earlier. Clearly when I saw a “hot mess”, he saw “momma!”
Just before I moved from Evanston, I brought Odie to say goodbye to the people who saved him at the pet shop. I had a chance to talk to the owner who physically took him from CACC. She told me when she opened his cage Odie put his paws around her neck and wouldn’t let go. She also said everyone who worked at the shelter told her “you don’t want that dog”. She told them she didn’t have any choice because he wouldn’t let go... Odie knew exactly who he had to hold on to get his freedom ride to where I lived.
If you ever wonder if animals choose us, Odie is a great example of the magical lengths they will go through to find their person.
lymphoma/limˈfōmə/noun:; plural noun: lymphomata; plural noun: lymphomas 1) cancer of the lymph nodes.
This is what bodies do. We can say it sucks and tell it to fuck off or launch the fight of our lives, but this is what bodies do. They breakdown. Maybe from being broken open to all the love.
As devastated as I am at Odie’s diagnosis, I will not let this cloud my vision or knowledge of the amazing spirit I have had the honor to spend eight years, and will never lose.
Odie doesn’t belong to me and as much as he’s become a part of me, and much as my heart breaks for the breaking down of this tiny body I can see the strength of his spirit coming to fruition. He was so broken, and he is now returning to wholeness. Whatever the amount of time we had will never be enough.
What I do know was Odie is happier than he’s ever been in his life. I continued supporting this happiness for as long as possible. He always referred to his lymphoma as his “bubbles of love”. Odie told me that his body was taking in so much love that made these bubbles.
Please know that you are a huge part of that happiness. Instagram has changed both of our lives and built our relationship on a foundation of love and joy and fun. Thank you for being here and continuing this journey with us as we begin a new journey as Odie's Healing Habitat.
Odie passed August 17, 2019
